The Raincoats

by

The Raincoats

I think the raincoats' self-titled is one of the most important albums to me, though I don't usually think about albums much in those terms. I didn't listen to it early enough to have it be formative for young adult me, but it's been central to the rest. one of those albums I can revisit not just without cringing or justification, but with joy and new appreciation

I was introduced to 'lola' when I first visited the radio station where I'd spend all of my time in college, and where I would go on to form a lot of my central friendships, meet my now partner, and host a bunch of bands some of which would become friends or just good stories. the song was played by a ragtag group of cool radical folks that became my friends and probably the first people I ever really looked up to while knowing I did, and the raincoats' genderbending lola was an explicit invitation for me at 18 to think more about gender and sexuality and the fluidity of it. when I sing 'lola' in karaoke it'll always be as made popular by the raincoats.

in 2010 I got to see the raincoats at moma in nyc. it was glorious, the violin still perfectly a bit out of tune.

next step on this history tour was when I was organizing boston's ladyfest with some friends in 2012. at the time I didn't really consider myself a feminist, which was mostly reactive to my understanding of feminism as defined by second wave- and trans-exclusive feminism that didn't resonate with me. only through organizing the festival, ironically, I began to identify with a more expansive feminism through people I met, reading bell hooks, engaging more deeply with the music I enjoyed and the people who made it. the festival took place at the cambridge ymca and was a fundraiser for an abortion fund - as a result, we did a number of fundraisers before the event to make sure we had money to cover paying artists, venue costs, supplies to make meals during the event, etc. one of those fundraisers, an art show at a now defunct art space in somerville, we named 'adventures close to home'. the raincoats were a binding force for our core group of organizers.

after the fest, I'd go on to start a band with two of those friends - we tried just ripping off the raincoats. most of us didn't know our instruments, which helped. I remember wanting so badly to include a drum bit like 'no side to fall in' or 'the void', anything that felt shambolic but kept it together. but, I knew how to play the drums too well (not well, but a bit); my magic wasn't there. we ended up just playing as a urinals cover band instead (the urinelles). eventually we dissolved the band or it morphed into something else. I moved away, the practice space building was just recently demolished, etc etc.

now I mostly listen to 'the void', my friends know it mostly from me putting it on every playlist. it fucking wrecks me. that swelling introduction, the movement of a whole-ass internal ocean, the emotional cast ashore, the release. maybe it's an approaching-middle-age thing. anyway it rips. someday I'll figure out how to do it justice (keeping trying)